Dear Mr. Steve Martin,

You may not find it shocking or even interesting but still, I feel the need to confess something. You sir were the very first man to break my heart. Please understand this is not an accusation but rather a fact to illustrate the impact you and your work has had on my life. I was six when I saw "Three Amigos" for the very first time. I immediately fell in love with your character "Lucky Day" and spent countless hours watching that movie. Thus I was brokenhearted over and over again each time I heard the line "It's like living with a six year old" which I found particularly devastating since I was (as previously stated) six. Though I didn't understand all the jokes, and was unable to appreciate the comic genius of the film at the time, I did understand that the statement was in fact a diss. So you can imagine my delight the day I turned seven.

I'm not much of a fan, I don't know you're birthday or how tall you are, and I must admit haven't seen all of your movies. But "LA Story" is my favorite, I subscribe to the New Yorker specifically so I can read your clips, I adored reading "Shop Girl" and "The Pleasure of My Company" and there are few sounds I enjoy more than the strum of a banjo. The truth is that I don’t know much about comedy, literature, or drama, and thus I can’t eloquently describe to you why I find your talents so magnificent. But time and time again I stumble across some of your work that I haven’t before, and more often than not I’m astounded to find I’ve fallen in love all over again.